Kreative Blogger Award Part 1
April 30, 2012
Oh it is to laugh Cat’s & kittens…hey it’s me yer ol friend the Dysfunctional Unit…and ya know I’ d been working on this Kreative Blogger video fer about a week kept tweaking it, never quite happy, all the while, in the mean time 
of course, continuing to write other crap, continue to be plagued and haunted by shit I hear comin out my TV while I sit here tap, tap ,tappin away…
Anyway so I was startin a new post about some crazy ass shit…and well if you’ll bear with me let me lay it out this way…
See I’ve noticed three particular trends lately.
First separate and beyond the recent Trayvon Martin shooting there has been a tremendous amount of news lately focusing on race relations and even more so on how African Americans still deal with tremendous social pressures up to and including killings, at the hands of white people. Over the last three episodes of “Sunday Morning” on CBS, we have carefully reexamined the Rodney King LA incident (I know, I know, it was the ten year anniversary) as well as almost other news programs on all other channels, and the definite intention of all this attention has been to relate it to Trayvon and to remind white people they are inherently racist and other African Americans that whitey still wants to keep them, at best, bound to a life of abject servitude.
O-merica's Favorite Bully
Next this whole bullying phenomenon, I mean not a somehow vast increase in bullying (though I have seen studies lol)…I mean this constant discussion of bullying, the media focus, the movie, just the word repeated over and over again, bullying, bullying, bullying…Why…I mean okay I know I know, it’s fer the chil’ren, jes wanna protect the chil’ren…okay bear with me here oh most astute and diligent reader, I’ll tie it altogether in my own inimitable fashion…
Lastly and of course not leastly is the whole OWS group and their supporters, including the media which continues a relentless anti capitalist, anti corporate (which of course makes my little dog spin because aren’t media conglomerates capitalistic corporations)anti bank, gas companies, stock market, and rich white conservative, campaign…
See here’s what happens I begin to hear…inklings…random feedback comin from many different sources…..my lil dog spins round and round chasin these various “firefly” ideas yippin and yappin…it’s jes that once in awhile he catches one and comes up with somethin’
Here’s what I’ve come up with…Trayvon Martin…Rodney King…all the attention…it is to remind white American that we still are a racist bunch of bastards (and bitches excuse me ladies fer leavin you out, though most assuredly [if you are not already planning to vote for the Pres] this “campaign” is designed to sway you) , to make many of us feel guilty, maybe, jes maybe it will be enough to sway a number of middle of the road voters over to President Obama’s side in the upcoming election…
During the campaign, when ever the Presidents record or lack of accomplishments, or failure to solve the nations problems are being used against him in debates, in conservative medias, or in new countless social media forums, they are going to claim that the other side (of course I mean the mean spirited rich environment, old folk, kid, race hating republicans are just bullies…they’re all just bullies. Bullying poor President Obama, after all none of this is his fault, his or his parties fault, it is Bush, Bush and his evil henchmen that have caused so much trouble with their illegal wars and i mean if it wasn’t fro Pres Obama, his leadership and firm guidance of course we would be so much worse off. And to suggest other wise is just bullying and you know it…
And ya know, if that doesn’t work well…I mean the whole system must be broken, if somehow a republican wins that means the banks and evil corporations have somehow rigged the election, screwing the black man once again and bullying the American people and hell if the OWS and all of their support groups are gonna take that…it will be time for action my brothers, time to take to the streets, and strike at the “man”, or any near by white person as an acceptable stand in…Rioting, looting, death and…martial law? (I readily admit that this idea is not fully, or originally mine but is a common theme in conservative media that I have adapted in my dysfunctional way)
It is like a blue print put forward by a community organizer (activist/instigator depending I guess). Now who do we know that fits that role…Okay well I’m of 
course being rhetorical….but here’s where I guess it fits in with the whole kreative blogger award…
See like I was workin on somethin completely different (and not quite gettin it right due to my ideas and attempts beginning to outpace both my abilities and the software’s lol) but this morning. hearing these three subjects addressed first on Sunday Morning, then on “Face the Nation” (Please Bob retire already) suddenly the whole picture came together in my mind and I jumped up from the computer and began to ramblerant the whole thing to Lil’ Mouse who was trying to watch the latest episode of Ricky Gervais on HBO (go Karl!).
Cr:Google Images, Ricky Gervais Show, HBO-larious
Cred:Google images
I had to get ready for work, knew I needed to at least start the draft (so I wouldn’t ferget the whole thing by the time I got home) so I was trying to give her just the basic jist of my idea…
After about two and a half minutes she looked at me and said oh so sweetly “You should use that for your kreative blogger award, ’cause it is certainly took some creative thinking to come up with.”
She, in her own special loving way meant it sarcastically of course, but to my dysfunctional brain it was like I saw the whole thing suddenly so perfectly that I sat down and wrote the meat of this post in about five minutes (usually my posts might take a day or two to compose lol).
Anyway of course, here I am now late on Sunday night, tryin like hell to wrap up what has become now ‘Part 1‘ of my Kreative Blogger Award post but still feeling positive about my strange theory on these three seemingly disparate (premeditatively generated?) social obsessions and my acknowledgement, that as Lil Mouse pointed out as far as the dysu posts are concerned, this is my most oft exhibited kreative ability…oh it is to laugh…
Remember I am not stating that I am right that this is going to happen, only that the possibility of these being linked can be logically argued given the fully acknowledged end desires and the extremely capable abilities of the President and his re-election staff, his appointees, advisers and supporters in this “game(of thrones[HBO])”.
If not for the fact that there are times I am right in these mad prognostications (one of the reasons I decide to start this blog) or for the fact that I feel pretty confident about my reasoning on at least two of the three (I’ll leave it to you to guess which)
And of course it is now early Monday, I need to be up in a little over five hours, and I will need at least an hour to relax and come down after finally gettin this posted (lolsidc) but f n’ a everyone I believe part 1 is done…
I will continue with part two where I nominate my seven pics fer Kreative Blogger…
Oh yea and reveal seven-ish things you maybe surprised to learn about me…
the Dysfunctional Unit
Previews of Future’s Posts Plus Chapter 2 Left Turn
April 25, 2012
Hemmala hoo there its me and me only, the ol Dysu, I got a lot of things goin on and so I thought I’d just slap a little bit o whats to come and the next Chapter of left turn…
Here at Ol’ 409 Enterprises Inc. we are quite proud to announce that we have been nominated fer the Kretive Blogger award…
That’s what really is boggin the process down, wanna make sure the Kreative Blogger award post is…well creative…but it’s comin ya ol cat’s and kittens so just hang in there…
I also have half a post about more “man” stuff finishing up on the thoughts I was rollin with a couple posts back…
And comin soon, hot on the “man” posts heels is an idea I just got from readin a blog I follow it’s gonna be all about my worst two (near)dating experiences…don’t wanna give too much away but one ends with me bloodied…no no you’ll just have to wait…
Okay anyway remember adult themes etc…
2.
Home. To say it wasn’t much would be an understatement. The place used to be a repair shop or a commercial garage. It got turned into an efficiency somewhere in the 80’s ( I guess there was a real estate bubble here in the eighties who would’a thunk it). Anyway, the place was cheap, 325 plus 5o for utilities, and it didn’t have bars; and the toilet was all fucking mine. It’s the little things that count.
Anyway I’d lived here for a little over a month now. I ended up in Wennler the day after I got released from the state pen in Sioux Falls. I was better off than many cons getting out; I had money. Going in I had $2275.00 all together, not a lot but now it was enough to get back out to Cali, or Las Vegas. See I wasn’t planning on staying in South Dakota; I mean God, its South Dakota, but the first ride I got changed my plans.
I guess it will help to know a little of my background. I’m a bad guy, or was a bad guy definitely, pre incarceration, a regular gun wielding wild west type. I rode a bike, but was unaffiliated as it were with any organized group, not that I hadn’t been asked in my early days, I just had trouble with authority, any authority.
I got busted in August of ’83 in Sturgis at the bike rally, distribution, possession, assault with a fire-arm. I was twenty-two. I got forty-five years, which meant I could’a been out in fifteen or so with good behavior. I pulled an extra dime, sorry ten years, early on though fuckin up.
I started getting my shit together after that. I wasn’t going to be like some of these jokers, I didn’t want spend all of my adult life behind bars. I didn’t study law or nothin’ like that. I didn’t really better my life, I don’t know that’s just not my shit, I worked out, did my time; just got through it. The one thing I did change is I started going to church. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t get all Bibley or nothing, didn’t get all weepy with my fellow con’s ‘bout finding their way to the Lord. I still don’t even know if I believe, I want to; but I haven’t seen a lot of evidence of the Good Works in my life.
I was born in Vegas, grew up in a trailer park the second son of a “Show Girl”. Mom had never married but had a series of boyfriends; who, like her job and her prospects for a happy future grew increasingly sordid and sleazy as the years progressed. The best I could hope for from these men was indifference; but and especially in the later years, violence was just as likely.
We moved, or I should say we were moved to Bakersfield California when I was fourteen by my Mom’s new boyfriend; a “Devils” meth dealer. My eighteen year old brother had left home so I was the now the oldest, Dee, my younger sister was two years younger, and Ronnie was just a little baby. The meth dealer, Carl, was a real ass. He beat my mom, beat the shit out of me, regularly threatened to kill little Ronnie; Dee was the only one he was nice too. Even at thirteen the subtleties of this did not escape me entirely. Carl had regular trade and he and his buddies were moving lot’s of product, which was the one advantage for me because I got to learn a lot of the business, first by just observing, then by making runs for the guys.
You might think it’s weird going to work for Carl and his friends. If so you did not grow up the same way. These adults, as dysfunctional, as criminal and violent as they were, were my role models. The other thing Carl and countless adults before him, including my own mother taught me at a young age was that I was on my own; the world was monstrously cruel, capricious violence was just around every corner and only the toughest prosper. Carl was the worst, but he was only one in a long succession, Carl was the sharpening stone for the blade that others forged. And you either worked for Carl or you got out.
I think I’ve talked enough about all that.
In the spring of ‘76 Carl and two other Devils were gunned down by Hell’s Angels in what was described as a “turf war” . I was young and stupid and desperate to avoid meeting the next Carl. The house and most of the crap in it, including my mother, my sister, and quite possibly even me, were now considered Devils property.
The one thing I knew, knew above everything else, was that of all the property in the house, there was only one they considered really valuable, the drugs. I didn’t know how much there was at that moment, but I knew there was a lot. I took it all and ran. I was fifteen, not even legally allowed to drive in California, but with nearly a pound and half of meth, three kilos of weed, a shot-gun, two hand guns and scales and weights and a fucking lot of baggies rolling around loose in the back of a tricked out Ford Econoline, no license was the least of my worries.
That was the start of my street career sounds romantic, sounds exciting. The Devils killed my Mom and little Ronnie, I read about it in a newspaper a few months later; I still don’t know what happened to Dee. I swore revenge of course. Uselessly it turns out as the small upstart band of hard core bikers known as the Devils are no longer. Most killed over drug sales with both the Hells Angels and the Hessians during the cocaine crazed ‘80’s. The rest, who the fuck knows, when I was first in the pen I tried to find out if any were in the system somewhere, some lone Devil, or ragged left over’s; that’s one of the things that got me in trouble. But I’m not going to talk about that either.
The thing is, what I am trying to say is, that after the trouble, I vowed to keep it under control, Church helped that; the ritual, the call to faith. I never kidded myself that I was going to Heaven, no that’s a lie, sometimes I think about it. I guess I really don’t believe that if there’s a Heaven, God is going to let me in not after what I’ve done, but I should at least try. When I meet the bastard I wanna be able to say I gave it my best shot
So when I got out of the pen with my idea to head west, back to my roots it is with no real plan. I tell myself I am going to get back there and find a job; tell myself I am going to avoid trying to contact old friends, avoid my old life. But I can feel the lie in my own gut.
With the money I had I could’ve taken a flight out of Sioux Falls, or at least caught a bus west, but I didn’t feel right about either thing; just hitchin’ felt good, like the right path.
The world had changed, cars were…well there were a lot of them I’d seen on TV, but it still felt weird the first time a Hummer drove by. Anyway I’m getting off track. Maybe subconsciously it was the opportunity to find a new path that made me choose hitching, I can’t say. But the first guy who picked me up, Steve, just happened to run a grocery store in Wennler. He was a good guy, a real stand up straight, family man, church go ‘er, small town to the core; but honest and unpretentious. He and I, or the person I was trying hard to be, hit it off and by the end of the ride he had offered me a small position with his store in Wennler.
He wasn’t being phony, he never told me I could work my way to management. He was offering me, as he put it, a chance to figure out who I am and where I want to go. I told him I would work hard and not let him down.
He’s offered once to take me to church with his family on Sunday (not that I couldn’t walk, the towns only ten blocks wide) I haven’t taken him up on it yet.
But so here I am. My little home in Wennler South Dakota. Like I said the place is small. I don’t have a TV yet, but I have a little radio. That’s okay. I was never much of a TV guy, and new music, don’t get me started. I exercise, push ups and crap. If I get real bored I walk the gravel roads. Try to figure out, like Steve said, who I am and where I am going.
Fun with Facts
April 22, 2012
And so Cats & Kittens here we go…I mean I promised I would revisit this subject…I think it’s important to what I am tryin to say overall…I don’t wanna rehash everything…I mean it might behoove you, if yer really interested 
in discussing this subject honestly, to understand that the main purpose of this blog is to pass on this stuff I have come to believe, (that is in direct contrast to modern popular culture) to my own kids…so if this post is to help clarify, solidify things I have already said you may, (especially if ya think I’m full of the ol crapola) want to go back and read some of these earlier pieces…
I am going to bold all (I feel) my real important points just in case you want to skim to get the general idea, that way you don’t have to read all the long boring parts kids…
I feel it may be also equally important to assist you, here in the beginning, to understand what I am not tryin to say…I am not sayin women are inferior to men (I’ve said numerous times just the opposite), or am I claiming anything other than what I am actually saying. Though, and am quite aware that, I have a tendency to ramble off the beaten path, I do try to choose my steps(words)on this path carefully, and try to eventually end up where I meant to, despite the weird often circtuitous and oft times made up route I take to arrive at the destination.
Wow that probably didn’t help at all…how bout this
I am going to speak in generalizations* about a specific issueThough I use hyperbole and (hopefully) humor I am serious and believe what I say.
I know you don’t, that’s why I am sayin it…
And I’m not just pullin this out my own ass, there is lots of evidence, facts to support my claims.
Okay well if I can think of anything else I’ll add it…but okay so well, I said at the end of my last post that woman (*meaning in my argument as a generalization of “the feminine”) are ruining society.
There are lots of areas I’ve explored, but specifically lets talk about one big issue that just drives me crazy.
Here is one of these “new” truths that I slightly disagree with…
Women can handle more pain than men
This is a great place to start. This is now a widely accepted truth. Even most men I know, when asked (especially in front of women) will quickly nod or answer affirmatively…oh it is to laugh…
Okay I want to give you a second to get back on board. If you believe the above statement, I know you will want to immediately discount everything I say that follows as the ramblin’s of (at best)a chauvinistic ol bastard stuck in the past…well yea but that is beside the point…
Just promise if you disagree that you will read the following closely….
I am not saying pregnancy does not cause physical pain….
"No wonder he's having such trouble Jim, looks like he's got triplets!!"
"Well that's tough for the young kid Mike, but he's a competitor"
"He sure is Jim, why two seasons ago..."
I am saying if men could have babies some would have turned into a sporting event by now, with time, size and distance all coming equally into play…
Okay so there I go, making wild statements that detract from my argument. Look I know its a commonly accepted generalization (now) that women can handle more pain than men, but facts do not support this. So how has it gained such mass acceptance…
Well now that’s where it gets complicated.
Of course we have the “counter culture” establishment (dominated in part by the feminist movement). This new truth is just a part of their “pogrom”, (but that’s fer another far more paranoid soundin post lol)…there’s the American Woman as a whole, as a group, first many don’t subscribe to this theory, and even most who do, do so in numbers only…wait…What do I mean by that? Okay well its easy to see that as a group, reading articles, watching popular movies, television, news, listening to popular girl music, Ga Ga etc, that woman like to all claim that they are now the “pain masters”, they have wrestled the title away from men (with only pregnancy as the standard fer judgement) and it is often used as a comedy bit to make us all titter…when the big strong man can’t handle as much pain as the little woman…ha, ha, ha, it is to laugh…and again reconfirms this “Nueth”(well alright hopefully no one’s thought that one up yet…[if not I hereby coin that term "nu eth" meaning new truth])…
Okay so we can understand where this nueth has come from originally, a response by the now established counter culture to further undermine the wrongs of the White male dominated society (trust me these individuals know that what they are saying is a not true, but they feel the end will justify the meansas it were, the end being a society(world) run by “the feminine”….we can also understand why woman as a group all rush to embrace this nueth, (we’ll discuss women as individuals and their overall unhappiness with the success of this nueth near the end)…but why on earth would men succumb to such foo…oh yea that’s right…
credited to anonymous
Okay well you young guys, yer temporarily off the hook ’cause I mean, you don’t know no better, you were raised with this nueth as “The Truth” in big capitals, but us older guys well…okay there’s no pretty way to say it, we gave in ’cause it makes our lives easier (I know, I know you thought I was gonna say pussy huh?). No I mean guys admit it, who cares if they say they can handle more pain than us right? I mean its just one more thing they go on and on about that we only nod and pretend to agree with right? Why? Cause to disagree results in a two hour discussion and possibly not gettin pussy fer awhile(ya know it had to figure in somewhere)…
And here we get to the nut of it, fer me anyway, and excuse the obvious pun, but the blame lays on our shoulders, us men, fer lettin this thing get so outta control, maybe possibly so far out of whack that we will never be able to put things straight…
Okay so I of course have gotten off track, most of you aren’t even on board with the idea that even remotely possibly in general men can handle more pain than woman…despite thousands of years of evidence to the contrary…
I once shot a staple through my little finger at work, I pulled it out with a pair of pliers, wrapped it in duct tape and went back to work.
Every woman, that I have known, having burnt their finger will spend the rest of the night complaining about how much it hurts.
See this is not some crazy idea I have come up with as part of my dysfunction (my dysfunction makes it impossible fer me to swallow this bullshit that’s all). This is how men and women have fulfilled their roles (I know ol fashioned and squaresville) for hundreds of years, up until only, of course, recently and here’s where we get into how it affects society fer the worse…
These young men we’re turning out, are more sensitive, weaker, more needy, more fragile than the women looking to marry them, and…well…how’s that workin out fer you ladies….?
I know, I know ya’ can’t win fer losin huh?
We men know how that is, we have to put up with, listen to ya, follow yer directions, hear about yer friends and coworkers just so we can maybe, possibly, if we play our cards right, get sex once in awhile.
Men, can whine about pain just as well women if they think it’s going to get them long term pussy, only they’re wrong, their women will never really respect them and always feel like “she is more of a “man” than he is”…The end result men? She will boss you around, belittle you, and your dream of gentleness equals lots of pussy folds in on itself under a ton of condescension…and why?In the long run guys all you know is that you are left, no pun intended, feeling unsatisfied.
Women, so yer guy gets a paper cut and comes to you in tears looking fer a band aid and sympathy (no lies now, be honest[and remember I listen to you talk about yer men folk at work lol])…it does not stir your loins does it? Not really? Does not make ya feel all warm and cuddly and protected (even though here again many so called modern feminist women want to deny this deep seated need of their own to be held)and so you also spend yer coupled life feeling unsatisfied. (which of course leads to all the belittling and mocking)
Where of course does that leave us, with just one more reason why so many marriages seem to end in (often times affair driven) divorces….every body is acting against their nature, claiming this acting against nature is the true nature of man(sic) (long denied us by the white male power structure) and leaving everyone of feeling as if there is something missing, leavin all of us unsatisfied…
I say let’s put it straight….since cave man times until somewhere in the middle of the last century (how many thousands of years is that?) it has been commonly accepted fact that men can handle more pain than woman…why? Because in general, meaning more often than not, (or and again not in every single instance) this is true.
Guy’s, this is just one of the ways I can help yer relationships…
No really, she might not always act like it, but secretly she’ll be happier if you’ll be more caveman, less momma’s boy.
Satisfaction Guaranteed
Trust me on this one
A Lil Calm Before the Storm
April 20, 2012
Hey ho, it’s me the Ol’ Dysu and…well here’s the deal, I say a lot of shit on this page, a lot of stuff that sounds crazy on the surface, some sounds out right mean and nasty, and much of it is, I know, counter to popular notion. 
recently I commented on another bloggers post…very funny, well written you should and can check it out here…as part of my reply I linked back to one of my earlier posts..lo and behold it appears he actually at least attempted to go back and read it…here is his reply to my post, ” Now Don’t You Worry Your Pretty Little head About That“
Haha, it took me a while to realize that this was satire 
Once I realized that, I managed to recover from my initial shock and actually enjoyed the post.
Um…all right well ya know I am going to have to address this…I mean I love the guy’s blog, again very funny, but he is young and so I don’t blame him for his views…and I’m not mad or anything, I want to discuss this (these) issues and believe of course they need to be discussed or I wouldn’t bring them up….but I also have to make sure my point is clear…
However. before I do and everyone of my regular readers possibly stop following me ferever, I thought I’d take a little break and offer up a recent samplin’ of the kinder gentler side of the unit…(shameless self promotion I know)
Spring Rambles
Mornings with the Mouse
See…I’m not so bad…hopefully shows that I’m actually(at least semi)normal guy
Remember that now when I write my next posts…
Because,
Though I love Lil’ Mouse, find her exceptional, funny, smart, and incredibly competent.
Though I believe that she is, in general, like most woman, better at most things, than most men.
Though I believe that woman are the glue that hold all societies together, and without them most men would be sittin’ in a dark room somewhere in dirty underwear with chips and sandwich crumbs on their chest…
I also believe that woman (unchecked as they have been)are ruining our society….(God bless yer pretty little souls)
Great Scott America
April 17, 2012
Well okay..well..I mean F ‘n A everybody so I’ve written a lot about the state of our Federal Government, I mean probably only a little less than I have written about how women are ruining America (“Wha…wha…wha…what?”
you the reader ask…look I don’t have time to go back and re cover every crazy thing I have ever said…go back here and look it up…today I got bigger fish on my mind…today I’m kind’a pissed off…
Look so by now if you are paying any attention at all you know that the General Services Administration or GSA just spent a whopping $8000,000 (+) on planning and vacation(s) fer 300 
employee’s….that’s the easy breezy cover girl version tryin to review all the different facets, facts, well in the long run it just made me too pissed off to continue…and then of course my little dog starts spinning and I start looking up all this info on the fed.gov websites and I read all the new age hoo doo ass bullshit and my little dog spins round and round(here’s where Lil’ Mouse usually tells me “to just stop lookin’”) and well…well…well it is to laugh really.
Cause I know nothin’s gonna change…oh some of us will get mad and blog about it(most of course, much more professionally than the ol Dysu)…there will be investigations (themselves well topping the 800,000 price tag of the VV.) Some heads will roll, careers cut short (or in some cases just diverted)…but the system itself, the great and mighty machine will keep rollin along…
See ’cause ya know what else I know is that we got just a small glimpse, a peek behind the curtain, but thank God we did, and in this instance thank God fer Social Media, the magicians keep F’n up because of social media, the slight of hand is hard to pull off when you keep posting gloating pictures of how you fleeced the marks
Credited to http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics
But of course I digress ’cause my real point is so the F what? So what if they did? And I’m sure ol’ smiley in the tub here is thinkin’ the same thing, I mean it wasn’t but six months or so that we were hearin’ this story
House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi is the subject of a report on the stock investments of members of Congress that is to air Sunday on CBS’ “60 Minutes.”…
I know, I know old news, the worlds movin’ too fast, too fast to keep up and hell there’s so only so much time and I mean after all there’s all those HBO programs to keep up with, and isn’t Charlie Sheen gettin a new sitcom…
That’s what I mean by nothin’s gonna change. And there was a brief moment a year or two back when I first heard about the Tea Party…”Yea, here we go” I thought, but go to their website and all you see is talk about working with-in the system to change it…oh ho ho…oh it is to laugh….
I think the idea started good, but it was co-opted by politicios…okay what do I mean…Go look at their site…lot’s of talk, little action..okay again I guess clarification..
Better yet, here’s what I propose, tax revolt, we all go into our boss, or accountant(s) and claim all the dependents we can, then when tax time comes next year don’t fill out one document, let April 15th come and go without feelin’ bad or worryin. Every time you do start to feel a twang of guilt just picture this guy again
Live a little! I did!
And yea, that might not work fer yer situation, I mean normally I get a refund so that’s the way I could do it but, you might be in a higher tax bracket than me (lol like that would be hard) what I mean is if enough of us say ya know what we ain’t paying anymore till you get yer crap together well what are they gonna do, jail a million people, jail ten million people…now that’s a Tea Party Movement I can get behind
Wait I’m sorry what…What about the roads? What about old people? What about the poor? Well what I believe is we’re Americans, we can figure it out without the help of the money wasters in Washington ( I mean not me but one of you out there, ya don’t want me in charge, I’m no better at making important decision than obviously most of our government officials). I mean it’s coming my fellow Americans the pace of growth by our federal government is fiscally unsustainable. I may not be good at practical application of these concepts, but I understand them quite well…and well ya know I know, and I hope I’m not throwin off yer good mood fer later when you sit down to watch “Two Broke Girls” or what the fuck ever…I mean I hate ta bring this shit up…
Oh no…that’s right…I love to bring this shit up
File Under Fun
April 13, 2012
Okay so hi de ho neighbors…ya know though the Dysu is all about ranting over cultural and social issues, politics and religion…I do a lot of other types of writing…not jes here on WP but elsewhere on the net…and I’ve been so 
…um…ranty..lately I thought we’d take a fun break and I would put up one of the other little things I like to do…write reviews…a great place fer hyperbolic sarcasm and wit…Anyway, I was searchin out some songs on Zune and came across one of my favorite compilation CD’s and noticed that the reviewer had lumped some of my best loved “teen” songs into the novelty song category. As the “Dude” would say “This aggression will not stand man”
The mistake he made was that the early punk movement of the late seventies early eighties (fer the uninitiated bands like Devo the Sex Pistols, Clash, TH, Dead Boys, B-52′s, were all Punk Rock until about ’81, ’82 ish…that’s when the term “New Wave” really took off and the two types of music split into enemy camps lol) contained a lot of kitschy one hit wonders and kitschy bands (like the B-52′s) who’s whole act was the joke…this is not to be confused with say “Dwarf Tossin!” which can be found on this disc, but was in no way comparable to say “Teen-Age Enema Nurses in Bondage” by Killer Pussy a true obscure hit from the late seventies…anyway I’ve added some video and links to the WP version to share with you some of my favorites…enjoy
If you were lucky enough to be around the Los Angeles area in the late ’70′s you got to hear all of these great songs and more on KROQ radio…this album has some very obscure hits…and some real duds I can’t figure out why they included, but the ability to get some great songs you can’t find anywhere else (as far as I know) makes up for the fact that 1/3 of the album are simply throw away songs. All right so here we go…
Kinko the Clown: I’m not going to bother writing out the band’s name as it would take up a large section of the review. This band had a number of hits…including a Kinko Returns so that sick ol Kinko get’s to bracket the disc. Still maybe the best thing about them was their name, right up there with early (Mystic Knights of the) Oingo Boingo. Amazingly enough this song played regularly on the radio as did our next hit…
Teen-Age Enema Nurses in Bondage: Okay yea well this song by Killer Pussy was a huge hit, it played a lot…I was never super fond of it, but judging from some of the other songs on the disc it rates a few stars for amount of air play given to a song about enemas and it has a hard punky quality that sets it apart from some of the lesser tracks…(plus the bands named Killer Pussy)
Funky Poodle: This song by Wild Horses, (no not Stallions that was Bill & Ted’s band) might be my favorite on the disc..Not just ‘cause the near homeless guy gets sex coke and cash from some crazy broad in a limo, but because she was really, after all, just looking fer her poodle..or was she? Song’s funky reggae beat serves it well and it was also a regular hit on KROQ. (I’m gonna include a lame YouTube video [really just the song and a blurry shot of the album cover] just ’cause I love this song so much…hope ya enjoy it as much)
Pajama Party: I’ll give ‘em this song for nostalgia only. The first time I heard the song I believe was the Rodney on the ROQ show…Otherwise it’s a pretty annoying song…well I, mean okay girls love it…but they love My Pretty Pony and Swifter Mops so…Like TENB by Killer Pussy this song by Unit 3 with Venus was a one hit (semi)wonder
The Earthquake Song: I personally did not remember this song by The Little Girls until I listened to the disc…it was never as popular as some of the other songs but did get some airplay on KROQ.
Dwarf Tossin!: I mean…don’t even ask me why this song was included it diminishes the other songs by suggesting that they are (as another reviewer suggested) all novelty songs. This song is not the worst song on the disc…but it is a bad choice due to its heavy amount of suckiness
Buffy Come Back: This song by Angel & the Reruns was another one hit wonder that played on early KROQ a lot. It’s kitschy qualities are nearly unmatched as the song is a “honorarium” of sorts for the child star who played Buffy in the popular TV series “Family Affair”
Time is a Tick… Not a novelty song…just a bad one..it was a precursor for fans of this new music of what was about to come…lame new wave…
See You On The Other Side: A good song by Brian Briggs, again not a novelty song…wasn’t meant to be a novelty song and played a hell of a lot on early KROQ radio…In fact it wasn’t long after this song started getting play that the new mod faction sprang up out of the punk movement in So Cal(just a little after Stray Cats and the new Rock-a-billies[or is that vers-vicea])
Harley David (Son of a Bitch)…See review for Time…above
Ronnie’s Song: I don’t know if this song was meant to be a novelty or not…but I do know we loved this one hit wonder from LAX, a staple in KROQ’s rotation, as much as we hated Ronald Reagan…
Urban Struggle: Out of all the songs on the disc, this song by The Vandals was a huge hit, it got by far more air time than any of the other songs, and the band was a great punk band with a string of hits and great albums…to consider it a novelty song in line with say “Dwarf Tossin” just stuns me and makes me wonder about the individuals who put together this compilation…But anyway Urban Struggle a song about a guy who couldn’t make it as a punker so he decides to become an urban cowboy is a great lead in to this song…
Cow Punk: This song may be credited to Scott Goddard, but it will be remembered as a song by the Surf Punks…This song did get a lot of airplay, as did the SP’s Goddard’s first band, they had a couple big songs (my favorite Shark Attack) but as far as I know this semi hit was his(their) last…
Rodeo Song:…uh…I…um really. It just doesn’t fit, I mean…even Dwarf Tossin’ is a semi-punk (new wave) song…this..it was like they stopped trying…even if I wanted this song…this version of it sucks a*#…It’s so bad if I could, I would somehow take it off my copy of the disc…just scratch it right off…that’s how bad this song is…really
Kinko Returns: Okay, well this song is like the little brother of your friend who always wants to tag along, I mean it’s okay, but it really is pointless without the first song, I mean I guess it’s okay that they include both, it’s not a bad little song, maybe since they were throwin in extra Ogden Edsel Blues Ensemble Wahalia Mondo Bizzario Band they could have left out the RS and gave us Dead Puppies…
Okay well now I know I’m just being unfair, the thing is probably quite large percentage of WP writers may fall into the arty weirdo I just barely can hold a real job category (as compared to the population at large say), but if 
you hold a good job, or have held any job for a long period of time (and here I mean a real job, not a job in a record store, tattoo parlor, software development firm) yer belief that you are an arty oddball is only in your head…and to join with our media driven modern culture promoting the arty oddball loser, the ghetto thug, the overindulged rock or sports celebrity as pinnacles of cultural achievement (so you seem cool to your sheep like friends who are also pretending to be cool) is only hurting the country not helping it…
Here’s one good way to know what kind’a person you are, help you define yerself(separate from your employment)…Do you like Lady Gaga, think she is all that as it were…think she is arty and edgy?…If so, listen up, you are a worker bee, you should take off the weird make-up, yer lame thrift store concocted moon outfit and get the f back to work…you are neither arty or edgy, what you are is easily led, you are the type of person who should be working mainly in the service industry like say selling cosmetics at JC Penny or behind the counter at a fast food joint…
Devoid & Most Likely Unemployed
Do you consider yerself kick ass cool, do you listen to a: Only Metal or b. Only Gangsta Rap…
If yer answer was a: Only Metal, and you think yer a bad ass, more than likely you don’t have a job,. If you do then you are most probably a white, factory automotive, manufacturing or other blue collar worker.
If you answered band you think yer a bad ass it’s even more likely that you don’t have a job, but that if you do you fall in to the same as above category except: either way you
Annoyed & Definitely Unemployed
are more than 90% likely to be black, (exception to this, thirty something white collar office workers who on Saturday night out with the bros, like to relive their suburban high school gangsta days).
None of you are truly bad asses, especially you office workers, so stop promoting and supporting gansta culture, cause though you can separate your thoughts and your behaviors, a lot of kids growing up can’t, they buy into, they believe this shit….some kids, when you tell them to tune in turn on and drop out (I know, I know, too old school) actually do…
That’s why there is a definite exception to this rule, some of the “bad asses” are actually, really, bad asses, they’re not gonna hold jobs, don’t wanna hold jobs, (better to die on yer feet, than live on yer knees, etc, etc…)and ya know, these true rebels living outside of society, but yet functioning within strict guidelines all their own, I understand them , better than I understand most of you…
You…in fact reading this blog are most likely a fan of Kanye West, Lil Wayne, Katie Perry, Madonna (still?)or Justin Bieber, maybe even Maroon Five (guilty pleasure right).
A fan of The Voice, The View, The Talk, The Walk, alright I made that last one up is the point is, you probably are white, female, work in an office, possibly in human resources, maybe in health care, or an Elementary school teacher, you also, most likely like to think you are still edgy…
Yer about as edgy as yer motto…(and ya know how much I love to mock this one Cat’s & Kittens)…Live, Laugh, Love, which along with yer edgy mission statement, Live like no one is watching…no wait it’s Laugh like there’s no tomorrow…no crap…Dance till it hurts…oh well ya know the one….
Listen and I hate to break it to you, but yer not even remotely close to the town where edgy once lived some years back now….
I know that I’ve gone way off the beaten track here, way deep into unexplored territory through this three part extravaganza…but why, what have I been trying to say….no I mean really…What the hell have I been trying to say?
Oh yea thanks, when I am talking about culture and responsibility, you have to remember that fer some of us, it is our responsibility to be the intellectuals, the artists, the weirdo deviants, I’m okay with all that, but we are supposed to be small sub cultures, not the culture at large..that’s my point, that’s my only point…I don’t want the rest of the country to behave like me…like with my own children I want society to be better than the worst among us.
Yet here we are every day every body tryin to out media-fy, hell out socialnetworka-fy each other in an never ending self pleasuring dysfunctional cycle of shocking over indulgence and staged guilt…
Misfit to Mister & Back Again…Those Who Can’t Do Teach Pt II
April 11, 2012
All right so here we are back again…and as good as any a place to start is when I left the land of Oz for the frozen north, October of 1994 I was determined to learn to be a good worker bee, I had two small kids (already had messed up and lost custody and relinquished visitation for my first son). I put
my worker cap on, belittled and beat myself up (like a drill instructor would have[only I was doing it too myself at age 34] and was much crueler given I knew all my own weakness and foibles).
I barely pulled it off at first, but with steady application and try and try again mentality (okay so no punching other employees at work…check) After a few years I was doing pretty good, I had trained myself to be, at least fer however many hours a day you were willing to pay me, a good responsible person. (remember I was nearing forty at this point)
Now this is back some years, Ex 1 was still in the picture, but though I’d learned to behave at work, in my private life I was still pretty much one of Peter Pan’s Lost Boys…Is it any wonder then at some point she left with the kids (temporarily) back to Mom, back to Oz…
Well okay that was a wake up call, I still had work to do. I pulled up my boots, pulled up ‘em up tight, then pulled up ‘em up even tighter cinched ‘em with drawstring and wrapped the whole thing in duct tape. I worked harder, worked better, lived better (almost all my bad behaviors had been conquered[almost Cat's n' Kittens but we're gettin to that*])…
I actually ended up in a professional job, a real job, had my own office with my name and title on my door (in order to accomplish this, to get this far, I had to, in essence, kill the other “me”, the weirdo artist, so that I could not only put away want and focus on need, but fit in with the “normies” [who incidentally almost all viewed themselves as weirdo artist types]) and continue to be employed. I was making real money, and working 50 hours or more a week…
I only pulled this high a level of employment though for a short time, and only because I had an excellent, understanding boss…I am a dysfunctional unit, but I have learned to explain that (hopefully in a way each new
Dizzying Heights of Success
employers understands). This boss worked very well with me and allowed me a wide latitude of odd behaviors* lol (singing out loud, foul language)
However like any unit worth his weight in dysfunctions, I eventually cracked*, the carefully constructed new unit I had become, though well polished in almost every visble aspect, still held the same original flaws.
Though I could see, know, and understand how to behave, I was not very good at actually doing. I was certainly never going to be able to reach and achieve the sort of level of normalcy you need to be successful in this land of winners…it was too late fer me(if I’d ever even stood a chance at all)…I’d started training myself far too late, things I was learning at thirty-five I should have been learning at thirteen…
In this last cracking, oh some five years ago now, I lost everything, for a second time..lol…second wife, second house…oh it is to laugh
But don’t get me wrong, this last time I stood at the edge of the cliff of responsibility and jumped off..After fourteen years or so of trying I realized either the above was true, a:I’d started too late, or b: in whatever way it was that I was dysFUNctional, it doomed or fated me to behaving irresponsibly (left turns)and doomed (or fated or whatever) me to be the unit I was and, either way, or both together didn’t matter, I had to accept it….
Now I don’t know any of you, my smart and oh so intelligent readers, personally, but I’ll bet a good chunk of you think “that’s me”
But and while I’m not judging you, and it very well may be true…
Well hey and hey-lo Cat’s, Kittens it’s me the ol Dysu with another fantastic edgy hot off the presses…Okay, well, the truth is Lil’ Mouse read the last post and spent a good deal of 
the time laughing at, how did she put it, “…your being responsible nonsense…”
But just because I can’t do, doesn’t mean I can’t teach…In fact just the opposite is a common cliche’…Those who can’t do, teach.
Like, I mean, I know I sound like such a hard ass, I sound, well, I know how it sounds when I say you should…okay well maybe I’ll stick to I statements
I was talking about behaviors that I should have learned but didn’t…you can read more of this concept here, and uh…here…but the deal is, that’s part of what I am talking about when I talk about being Dysfunctional……you have to remember that I was born, and raised back in a time when being a fuck up was not socially “cool”…I knew responsible from irresponsible, I was always compelled(?) to act irresponsibly…was it just that I was born this way (nature)….a
Anyway, though it was not cool to be lazy good fer nothin’ dreamer when I was first born it was about to become that way, unfortunately fer me ( I believe)…Okay I have to make sure I say this next part right because it can be confusing even to me if I’m not careful…
I'll give ya somethin to cry about!!
See, (I believe now) my parents (in my case my good parent was) were right…and that the adult Dysu would have a lot less trouble if I had, as a young Dysu, learned to toe the line (play the game)…
Instead culture began to embrace the rebellious misfit.
My right to have whatever I want!! Beeyatch!
Not only embrace the irresponsible “fool”, as it were, but to hold them up as a model of right behavior…(after all in the Age of Aquarius we were all gonna live and sing hand in hand in a field of daises while candy colored rainbows provided for all our hazy fuzzy dreams where I could be anything, do anything, believe anything I wanted, and it would come true)…well hell that was perfect fer me, it reinforced the idea already chemically generating within my own brain…
See (I believe now) that with steady and appropriate pressure, applied early enough, I could have learned to behave more responsibly (or possibly just harness much of my weirdness better?). Instead I only had inconsistent and odd pressures and a society plunging headlong into a self cultural shift where the irresponsible became every child’s idol…(which through the hilarious process of “nurture” of course exacerbated the 
problem)…that is my genetic and cultural heritage…I was born to be a Dysfunctional Unit, society made it okay…
See I have two points (well, yea, lol, but lets not split proverbials) 1. The largest section of any given population is not going to be the intellectuals, or artists, or gifted, or anti-thinkers, it is going to be average people…”working” people 2. When your largest section of the population, who use to be the “working” section, suddenly and mistakenly believe they are arty edgy counter culture rock’ n rollers with one foot in the grave “anti the-man” rebels…well yer population is in trouble.
And that’s where the real joke of my Dysfunction, a part of what spawned the name, the idea of this blog, is that I began to see how my Dysfunction had become the countries dysfunction in many ways, and what that might mean fer us…so I became dysfunctional over my own dysfunction, double times over and inside out…
And the little dog twirls round and round
