Fun with Facts
April 22, 2012
And so Cats & Kittens here we go…I mean I promised I would revisit this subject…I think it’s important to what I am tryin to say overall…I don’t wanna rehash everything…I mean it might behoove you, if yer really interested 
in discussing this subject honestly, to understand that the main purpose of this blog is to pass on this stuff I have come to believe, (that is in direct contrast to modern popular culture) to my own kids…so if this post is to help clarify, solidify things I have already said you may, (especially if ya think I’m full of the ol crapola) want to go back and read some of these earlier pieces…
I am going to bold all (I feel) my real important points just in case you want to skim to get the general idea, that way you don’t have to read all the long boring parts kids…
I feel it may be also equally important to assist you, here in the beginning, to understand what I am not tryin to say…I am not sayin women are inferior to men (I’ve said numerous times just the opposite), or am I claiming anything other than what I am actually saying. Though, and am quite aware that, I have a tendency to ramble off the beaten path, I do try to choose my steps(words)on this path carefully, and try to eventually end up where I meant to, despite the weird often circtuitous and oft times made up route I take to arrive at the destination.
Wow that probably didn’t help at all…how bout this
I am going to speak in generalizations* about a specific issueThough I use hyperbole and (hopefully) humor I am serious and believe what I say.
I know you don’t, that’s why I am sayin it…
And I’m not just pullin this out my own ass, there is lots of evidence, facts to support my claims.
Okay well if I can think of anything else I’ll add it…but okay so well, I said at the end of my last post that woman (*meaning in my argument as a generalization of “the feminine”) are ruining society.
There are lots of areas I’ve explored, but specifically lets talk about one big issue that just drives me crazy.
Here is one of these “new” truths that I slightly disagree with…
Women can handle more pain than men
This is a great place to start. This is now a widely accepted truth. Even most men I know, when asked (especially in front of women) will quickly nod or answer affirmatively…oh it is to laugh…
Okay I want to give you a second to get back on board. If you believe the above statement, I know you will want to immediately discount everything I say that follows as the ramblin’s of (at best)a chauvinistic ol bastard stuck in the past…well yea but that is beside the point…
Just promise if you disagree that you will read the following closely….
I am not saying pregnancy does not cause physical pain….
"No wonder he's having such trouble Jim, looks like he's got triplets!!"
"Well that's tough for the young kid Mike, but he's a competitor"
"He sure is Jim, why two seasons ago..."
I am saying if men could have babies some would have turned into a sporting event by now, with time, size and distance all coming equally into play…
Okay so there I go, making wild statements that detract from my argument. Look I know its a commonly accepted generalization (now) that women can handle more pain than men, but facts do not support this. So how has it gained such mass acceptance…
Well now that’s where it gets complicated.
Of course we have the “counter culture” establishment (dominated in part by the feminist movement). This new truth is just a part of their “pogrom”, (but that’s fer another far more paranoid soundin post lol)…there’s the American Woman as a whole, as a group, first many don’t subscribe to this theory, and even most who do, do so in numbers only…wait…What do I mean by that? Okay well its easy to see that as a group, reading articles, watching popular movies, television, news, listening to popular girl music, Ga Ga etc, that woman like to all claim that they are now the “pain masters”, they have wrestled the title away from men (with only pregnancy as the standard fer judgement) and it is often used as a comedy bit to make us all titter…when the big strong man can’t handle as much pain as the little woman…ha, ha, ha, it is to laugh…and again reconfirms this “Nueth”(well alright hopefully no one’s thought that one up yet…[if not I hereby coin that term "nu eth" meaning new truth])…
Okay so we can understand where this nueth has come from originally, a response by the now established counter culture to further undermine the wrongs of the White male dominated society (trust me these individuals know that what they are saying is a not true, but they feel the end will justify the meansas it were, the end being a society(world) run by “the feminine”….we can also understand why woman as a group all rush to embrace this nueth, (we’ll discuss women as individuals and their overall unhappiness with the success of this nueth near the end)…but why on earth would men succumb to such foo…oh yea that’s right…
credited to anonymous
Okay well you young guys, yer temporarily off the hook ’cause I mean, you don’t know no better, you were raised with this nueth as “The Truth” in big capitals, but us older guys well…okay there’s no pretty way to say it, we gave in ’cause it makes our lives easier (I know, I know you thought I was gonna say pussy huh?). No I mean guys admit it, who cares if they say they can handle more pain than us right? I mean its just one more thing they go on and on about that we only nod and pretend to agree with right? Why? Cause to disagree results in a two hour discussion and possibly not gettin pussy fer awhile(ya know it had to figure in somewhere)…
And here we get to the nut of it, fer me anyway, and excuse the obvious pun, but the blame lays on our shoulders, us men, fer lettin this thing get so outta control, maybe possibly so far out of whack that we will never be able to put things straight…
Okay so I of course have gotten off track, most of you aren’t even on board with the idea that even remotely possibly in general men can handle more pain than woman…despite thousands of years of evidence to the contrary…
I once shot a staple through my little finger at work, I pulled it out with a pair of pliers, wrapped it in duct tape and went back to work.
Every woman, that I have known, having burnt their finger will spend the rest of the night complaining about how much it hurts.
See this is not some crazy idea I have come up with as part of my dysfunction (my dysfunction makes it impossible fer me to swallow this bullshit that’s all). This is how men and women have fulfilled their roles (I know ol fashioned and squaresville) for hundreds of years, up until only, of course, recently and here’s where we get into how it affects society fer the worse…
These young men we’re turning out, are more sensitive, weaker, more needy, more fragile than the women looking to marry them, and…well…how’s that workin out fer you ladies….?
I know, I know ya’ can’t win fer losin huh?
We men know how that is, we have to put up with, listen to ya, follow yer directions, hear about yer friends and coworkers just so we can maybe, possibly, if we play our cards right, get sex once in awhile.
Men, can whine about pain just as well women if they think it’s going to get them long term pussy, only they’re wrong, their women will never really respect them and always feel like “she is more of a “man” than he is”…The end result men? She will boss you around, belittle you, and your dream of gentleness equals lots of pussy folds in on itself under a ton of condescension…and why?In the long run guys all you know is that you are left, no pun intended, feeling unsatisfied.
Women, so yer guy gets a paper cut and comes to you in tears looking fer a band aid and sympathy (no lies now, be honest[and remember I listen to you talk about yer men folk at work lol])…it does not stir your loins does it? Not really? Does not make ya feel all warm and cuddly and protected (even though here again many so called modern feminist women want to deny this deep seated need of their own to be held)and so you also spend yer coupled life feeling unsatisfied. (which of course leads to all the belittling and mocking)
Where of course does that leave us, with just one more reason why so many marriages seem to end in (often times affair driven) divorces….every body is acting against their nature, claiming this acting against nature is the true nature of man(sic) (long denied us by the white male power structure) and leaving everyone of feeling as if there is something missing, leavin all of us unsatisfied…
I say let’s put it straight….since cave man times until somewhere in the middle of the last century (how many thousands of years is that?) it has been commonly accepted fact that men can handle more pain than woman…why? Because in general, meaning more often than not, (or and again not in every single instance) this is true.
Guy’s, this is just one of the ways I can help yer relationships…
No really, she might not always act like it, but secretly she’ll be happier if you’ll be more caveman, less momma’s boy.
Satisfaction Guaranteed
Trust me on this one
Dysfunctional’s Datin Tips
March 17, 2012
So the ol’ Dysu likes lookin round the word press world, and one of the things I’ve noticed is that, just recently there have been a plethora (okay maybe couple) of hilarious posts about dating tips for men (my favorite by far is 
about dating tips [partly] for a Tricophiliac very funny you should check it out) But of course it got me thinkin’ the ol’ Dysu was a young man once, I mean I must have used to try and pick up girls at some point, and were there then, any tips o’ the trade I might pass along for the betterment of all “man”kind …
Okay so the following all involve some limited (or who am I kidding outright) deception. But I feel I am just leveling the playing field, everyone practices the art of lovedeception, it’s just part of the game, the ugly truth is you gals are just so much better at it than us…Anyway I’m here to try and help a fella out.
Another beer for thou?
I was in theater in high school and early college, I mean this is a long while ago now, but I learned I was really good at accents…okay you can already see where this is going, and it worked great short term but, and again I was young so there of course was a lot of drinking and drugs involved…it is hard to remember you are suppose to come from Liverpool (one of my most confident) after three hours of steady inebriation. Sometimes the drunkenness factor worked in my favor because more than once the girl also obviously forgot I was suppose to have an accent.
Okay but I think that one’s pretty common, a lot of guys use that technique, and it takes a certain amount of talent as well as hutzpah to pull it off…here’s a little smoother and easier trick I used to get women to go on a first date with me…That’s a hard one huh? Ya see a cute girl working at the grocery store, driving in traffic, any place doesn’t matter and ya wanna approach her, I mean, she’s hot right…but what do you do, sidle up give her a couple of yer best lines then try to get her number so that you can take her to dinner (sex)? Difficult at best. This Chickee-Babe’s been hit on by way hotter, richer, classier guys and how are you going to get her to give you a shot? By removing the pressure…the trick is to have a bunch of business cards (not yer own) with yer name and number scribbled on the back and then follow this script (keep individual flourish to a minimum you want to act like your not trying to impress her[keep it simple])…okay ready…’Hey, hi I’m sorry…I …I was just passing by, saw you sitting here, and well…you…you’re quite attr..charming, and I mean well I would love a chance to take you out sometime (here is where the business card comes in) I just jotted down my name and number, If you’re interested, I would love it if I could take you to dinner sometime…if ya not I mean you can tear the number up after I’m gone, no hard feelings I …anyway..I mean I gotta go, I’m on the way to work(?) but either way, I just wanted to stop and tell you that you are definitely the most beautiful woman I have seen today.” Then just turn and walk away. Do not look back this is important, (don’t ever be too needy[good advice with woman going way beyond dating]) For her it’s flattering, fun, non-invasive and pressure free. Even if she doesn’t call she will have a great story to tell her workmates. And trust me here if even she doesn’t call, she will think about it. And sorry guys sometimes that is as close as we’re going to get…The cheetah doesn’t catch the gazelle every time.
1980's Aphrodisiac
Here’s another little trick I used when I was a little older (and this was mostly for getting laid specifically but…) so this tip is more for semi upscale bars, those trendy spots that come and go like new potato chip flavors. I had a friend/boss (Doidman)who patronized these establishments. This was the late 80′s, I could never compete with the real estate sales men and pharm reps who would come in and slap there obnoxiously large cellular phones and there AmEx platinum cards on the bar, I had a head full of long braids with beads and bells and Guatemalan pants…Okay so anyway what I would do is bring a book and sit in a far corner far way from the noise and hubbub. Eventually some woman would come sniffing around to see just what I was doing off by myself. I would explain that my friends dragged me here (which was true), Bars weren’t really my scene (also true[especially trendy plastic places]) and that they themselves would probably be much happier talking to one of the guys at the bar with a cell phone and credit card. Over 90% of these ladies would then sit down and engage me to explain that women (and more specifically themselves) were not like that at all. Many of these girls ended up going home with me to prove to me(themselves) that they weren’t that shallow. Much to their regret the next morning, it turned out, they were looking for a guy with a good job and responsibilities after all…oh it is to laugh…Anyway that technique was way more successful than the one above…
Okay so tip number four is taking it to the final level, you’ve met a girl, you have a date, and you really wanna impress her, not just with money or your cool car, I mean you think she might be the one, and you want her to think the same way about you, you want to melt her heart. Okay, this is it; the next “chick flick” that comes out, agree “mock” begrudgingly to be dragged along, at the end, as the lights come up , make sure to dab at your eyes a little (if you have teared up slightly, that’s okay, roll with it) When she turns to you and says (and she will) ‘oh you’re crying’….deny it, deny it fully, ‘I’m not crying I was yawning and my eyes watered’…’the light got in my eyes funny’. This tells the woman two important things about you, 1. somewhere buried deep inside you there is a sensitive being, 2. but you’re too much of a stubborn man to admit it. Of course what you need is a good woman to reach in and heal all your male rage and anger and free that sensitive man you truly are…she thinks as she takes yer hand to walk out of the theater…oh yea yer get’n some tonight fella.
A Disclaimer By Any Other Name…
February 27, 2012
Alright so hey some friends ( I do have a couple) were wondering why this page didn’t show up on Facebook like my other pages do, I mean this is my main page bearing the ol dysu logo and yet, only the other blogs ( 409 
N. etc and Random Writes & Rongs and it’s accompanying posts) make it to Facebook, make it out to the greater public at large.
Well there’s a very good reason and her name is Lil’ Mouse….see it goes like this. I’m this cantankerous half crazed (or wholly crazed depending on who you ask) opinionated (puttin it mildly) old 
curmudgeon. Lil’ Mouse my woman is this beautiful vivacious young liberal Catholic artist librarian (I know…What she sees in me…?) the thing is I would drive her crazy all day & night talking about politics, social issues, religion and a big helping of how women(of which Lil’ Mouse is a shining example[of womanhood not the following]) have been ruining things since the Garden of Eden
Now She’s whip cracker smart and so we will have some pretty intense debates but…it eventually wears her down and I understand why. I mean I can be relentless in a debate, if you haven’t noticed yet, and hyperboliclly mocking and cruel…I never mean anything by it, I’m simply in the moment having fun and of course think I’m being funny…and that’s how the original idea for this blog came about…I’m not sayin’ Lil Mouse suggested it as a way to get herself some peace & quiet…but now that I look back…
But really I had planned to write all this down anyway eventually, I mean my life’s been too weird (did I ever mention staring in a short movie for After School Specials in the late 70′s)to not try and write it all down, if nothing else it will give my many children something to mock and laugh at years after I’m gone.
Anyway the point of this post, what point there is, is that Lil Mouse worries about the stuff I write here, so let me offer this disclaimer: *The “DYSU” posts are where all my craziest most offensive, most politically incorrect ideas, writings, rants can be found (though 2nd disclaimer with-in the disclaimer I feel I’m just tellin the truth, in my own inimitable dysfunctional way). If you happen by this blog, which is of course my first (due to the desire of Lil’ Mouse for me to “get that blog going “) and main page so it’s quite likely this is where you will start , and yer just horribly offended (which may happen if you have an abundance of estrogen in your blood stream). You may wanna check out the blog we write together Random Writes & Rongs, it’s a little more warm and fuzzy, not so politically incorrect or…um…paranoidically unhinged. Cause we all have more than one side, more than one facet that makes us, us. This is the side that after an hour of watching the CBS morning show Lil’ Mouse tells to stop pacing, turn off the TV and turn on the computer…
No matter what else I say, it’s good for every man to have a smart woman by his side, and to let her know he feels that way…once in awhile…don’t wanna get to carried away, might ruin my image
Live, Laugh, Love You Bastards Pt. II
December 29, 2011
Alright where was I, oh yea TV sitcoms portrayals of men and more specifically dads. But it isn’t only sitcoms it is all over the media. Even in the vast majority of our advertising, the dad’s, and men in general are portrayed as 
helpless lovable(ish) oafs…(“Oh Dad!!” as he foolishly expects that the family would have saved him an Eggo at breakfast).
And again, this isn’t something new, my pointing this out isn’t even new. Others more respected and more listened to than I have pointed this out. So we can all accept it as fact.
All right well all this is good enough, but does it back my claim that women, unchecked, are ruining our culture.
Well, while that statement is accurate, it is not specifically accurate, because of course I mean the slow feminization of our country (as much pussy mens fault? [don't worry we'll get to that]) , the softening, this new touchy feely America, an America mostly concerned with its health, its fat intake, its overall mood (do we need more pills to make us happy?), its shopping habits. This is the new America.
And it is not only enough that as a nation we are obsessed with these things, we must continually hold a national dialogue about them.
But wait you bastards, that’s not all, bullying, eating disorders, the loss of the idea of individual willpower over our addictions. This is all a part of the feminizing of our culture, no one should feel bad anymore, there should be no mean people, and women…okay I’ll change that…and pussy’s…What? That’s not better?
Boo hoo, this is just what I am talking about. If I cant say what is true because someones feelings might be hurt…well, the ol’ Dysu is gonna say a big f you, I myself am sick of it.
When I was a boy there was a saying, “sticks & stones…” okay ya know it? Wait some of you younger kids don’t? All right here it is “Sticks & stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me” this is what 
your parents told you when you came home crying about being called fat (’cause you were fat). And ya’ wanna know the ugly truth…even though I hated that as a child…it made me a better adult.
All right, you say all that may be true but how…? Because wom..pu…people with feminine tendencies believe the federal government is the tool to assure that no one ever has their feelings hurt, that people all live healthy lives (whatever the latest momentary trend demands we do), that fairness (defined by whim) trumps progress, that accidents, injury (and possibly even old age?) can be legislated out of existence. It is out of control. The government is not meant to be our mommy you stupid ass…
Okay so Lil’ Mouse will want me to be nicer so I will try(and I know I’m runnin long again but hang in there almost done)…
Our country is broke, going deep in the hole because the federal government is involved and acting in all sorts of ways it was never designed to do. This is just the ugly truth, we don’t have the money to feed every poor ass bastard who somehow can’t feed themselves, let alone use the the power of the f-ing fed to make sure a 400 lbs trans gendered Hmong parapalegic wasn’t prejudiced because of his race, sexual identity, abilities, or f-ing weight. I mean I can’t even believe that we have gotten to the point were my opinion is considerd the crazy one.
So again, to make sure my point is clear, I don’t care, I accept and understand that women want America, our society, the world to be this great thing. It is an honorable goal and in keeping with their nature of nothing ever being good enough (remember Garden of Eden?).
I just mind that they have hijacked the federal government to do it.
Is it no one wonder that originally we didn’t let them vote.
Yep I said it, I put it out there.
But that exposes something different than you think. It exposes who I really hold to blame for such a sad state of affairs. It is me, it is us, we, my brethren…Men. And that’s who I’ll start to talk about next.
Now my beautiful smart tough and incredibly competent (hi sweetie) Lil’ Mouse laughed when I told her I was wrapping up my women bashing blogs, and she of course is right, but I meant as an over all specific focus, I got more fish to fry.
If I was better at this blog thing (or less dysfunctional) I could perhaps separate my topics with pages, but that seems like a hell of a lot of work Cats and Kittens, and I am trying to keep this as much like fun for me (and as little like work) as possible. After all…live laugh love…ya f-ing retards. This is the Dysu wishing you rainbow wishes and unicorn dreams
Live Laugh Love You Bastards!!
December 29, 2011
Hey Cats and Kittens its yer ol pal the Dysu. Been terrible at posting regular and I apologize to anyone who actually cares, which I’m assuming pretty much means very few individuals beyond of course my beautiful Lil’ Mouse 
(notice I am not necessarily including my twenty somethin’ “the Aguanga Kid” who also requested [after reading my first few posts] that if I were to include him in a blog to use a pseudonym as I do with Lil Mouse).
Anyway I have no real excuse, I mean beyond my regular dysfunction, and the growing gnawing anxiety and deep depression that I will have no one to vote for again come November of 2012…f-ing a you bastards…but that’s not for this blog…not yet…I wanna wrap up, in general my tirade over the gentler sex.
See, even when I am writing about something such as the frustratingly farcical food stamp program, the housing hullabaloo (I was hoping I could work that word in one day) agonizing over anti smoking attacks, (which I haven’t written about yet and Jesus I mean do I need too, does anyone still believe that 2nd hand smoking bullshit), the green movement, any and all of it can directly be laid at the feet women and the slow feminization of our society.
Look you can be pissed at me if ya want, but it’s true, I’m so sorry to have to tell ya…well again, not really, I like bursting your flimsy little ill constructed bubbles.
And remember, I like women, think they are important to society, perhaps as a whole, more important than men. In societal terms most men are simply the muscle, the tool. Does that mean women are the brains? No I’m sorry ladies, you are the heart, the soul…all right that’s not the best example.
Instead lets just look at it from an evolutionary standpoint, pseudo scientific like, and pay a visit to my little cave man family again.
If I am Mr. Caveman, big and strong well I can pretty much bully any cave woman and get what I want physically. How can Mrs. Caveman get what she wants? Mrs Caveman had to use other skills….well okay I mean beyond the obvious she also had to form a cohesive unit with the other females, it was survival, and so the female wiles were born.
A cave man could take what he wanted, cave woman had to manipulate cave man to get what she wanted.
So in essence it’s evolution, it’s in your DNA, manipulation’s in your blood and you cannot help yerself.
Okay well I mean crap, I haven’t even really gotten started and I’m already closing in on 500 words, I really want to get through this in one blog so we’ll see how well I can defend these statements in the next 43 words or so.
Also, I am not the only person to ever point this out, every one from the writers of the Bible to Shakespeare to…well okay all my examples are from the past because my generation has decided to rewrite history in hopes of altering this fact.
Don’t ya see, they are so good at manipulating, that as a group, they are manipulating all of our society to agree that they do not manipulate. I know it sounds insane but I’m just pointing out the obvious
What started out originally as the claim that they wanted equality has ended with the social and cultural understanding that women are smarter than men, healthier than men, tougher, stronger, and as of the last ten years, can handle more pain than men. Men are only better than women at being cruel and violent, as we are often told, which pretty much makes men pointless at best
And isn’t that the joke. Think of every family oriented sitcom from the last twenty years or so, the Dad, if present at all, is portrayed as a dufus.
Okay well I’m past my limit, and probably very close to losing your attention so I’ll have to face the fact that I just can’t squeeze everything I want to say (especially when you consider my rambling) in one damn blog.
The Mouse Hole
December 12, 2011
Hi, everybody! Well, since Dysu hasn’t updated in over a week I figured I should pick up the slack. Similar to how I pick up a lot of dirty socks and vertical cigarettes, precariously balancing on the table under the weight of 2 inches of ashes. (How does he do that? And WHY?) I know he isn’t any less crabby so perhaps he’s just stewing a very large, meaty rant. It also could have something to do with purchasing a new video game, but don’t worry—something will tick him off soon enough.
I know everybody is dying to know what Dysu is like in real life. If you have read the rants you can just add in a couple of hours of video game playing, coffee drinking and chain smoking and you will get a general picture. Of course, I’m contractually obligated to never reveal his true, tender and loving side. Which doesn’t exist– because, obviously, men don’t allow their women to choose what to watch on Netflix, offer an opinion on an outfit or feign interest in more than twenty minutes of “feelings talk”.
Real Men ™ are fairly similar to Gary Cooper in High Noon. There’s a stoney outer shell which protects a pinkish (granite) inside. They are often quiet because they are contemplating how to do the rightist right thing and thus have no time for chit chat. Because they are generally right, or at least right by the end of the film, they are rewarded with gun rights and the privilege of making decisions. It’s very quaint.
There are still advantages to old fashioned men in this modern world and I recommend that every woman keep one around the house. For instance, while I am hard pressed to release an ounce of control over anything I can still prey on his traditional need to do man work like take out the trash and car maintenance. Beautiful modern feminism has a great way of fulfilling a need to be the boss while avoiding unpleasant bossy things like paying for dates or mowing the lawn. While those Real Men ™ may have been stoic, stern and sagacious they simply did not have the numbers in the HR department or the intense, marathon chit chat skills. Dems the breaks, Gary.
This brings me to my ultimate point: I’d like to officially say that the opinions of Dysu are his alone and do not reflect the opinions of his parent company, Little Mouse the Boss. Frankly, it’s easier to let him rage out his issues because it distracts him from realizing my supreme supremacy in decision making. Thanks Herman Cain Controversy—Chunky Peanut Butter and You’ve Got Mail it is! While I am often confused or mortified by Dysu’s views I guess I’ll keep him around. I really don’t like to take out the trash.
Little Mouse
Of Cabbages & Kings
November 18, 2011
Okay well all right you bastards, so it looks like a couple of you have read my blogs (and here I mean of course outside my immediate household). I got me a number of likes and even a couple followers but no f-ing 
comments….does that mean that you actually agree with me. I doubt it, but no-one has said so much as a “how dare you…”.
Perhaps I’m just too old, not edgy enough. I tell you my age really shows when I go visit other blogs, I mean way to go, lots of flash and moving pictures. No I’m just joking, not about your nice blogs, but about my understanding of a video feed. Plus lots of color and side bar crap goin on. I’m still not sure if I set up my side bar stuff right. I know the f-book link ain’t workin, but that’s because Little Mouse doesn’t want any of our mutual friends to find out about this column, Lol, as you young cats and kittens would say
All right so I know it seems like I am rambling, like I don’t have anything to talk about, but the exact opposite is true. I have too much, and so I’m struggling nailing any one thing down, and rolling with it.
See, I still have more to say about the pussifying of our once great American culture. But there are other areas of our culture such as entertainment, shopping (midnight Black Friday anybody), the sorry state of our education system.
But F-ing A, there’s more than that, I’ve promised, and i think it will not only be enlightening but entertaining as well, to reveal more of the hows and whys the Dysfunctional Unit became dysfunctional, that’s an E ticket fer sure. And then there is all the regular bull, all the big lies, like second hand smoke causes cancer, like our two longest running wars (and by far, by f-ing far, the most costly), the war on poverty and drugs can never be won, the lie that almost of of our media sources aren’t incredibly undeniably unabashedly pussy ass multicultural elitist a holes, and most of all like the lie of happiness through pills or surgery or God bless America f-ing A just the idea of happiness…
Now I’m getting all worked up and this isn’t what I wanted to talk about at all but while I’m down this aisle. see, I mean, I know I am lumped in at the tail end of this certain generation, and so even though I have little in common (their early tv “Howdy Doody”, mine “Land of the Giants”, their teen music, the Beatles and Jimi, mine, the Pistols, the Talking Heads)with them I will still accept responsibility for our actions.
I find the term “baby” boomer to be quite apt. Self centered, self indulgent, then and now.
When you stop and step back and really review the history of the “hippie” (a derisive term coined by the beats that meant just a little bit hip) movement it really boiled down to the fact that Johnny wanted to go down to the
three day love-in but needed cash and gas from the square old man; who promptly told him no, and to cut his hair and get a job. but see Jimmy had been educated, raised on Dr. Spock and gone to a liberal arts college, Johnny knew his rights.
The real reason for the whole movement was that lil’ Johnny had been spoiled by an increasingly indulgent society.
Even if many of these same free druggin free lovin hippies became the uptight parents of the late seventies and eighties, the new mantra for child rearing had been discovered, children know best…okay well f-ing A this got me way off topic and you must know by now I like to keep these things short…
So, here’s what I really wanted to talk about tonight (I was trying to start the blog by explaining how sometimes topics come up that I’m afraid to table in case I forget) so I’m gonna have to make this short and as dramatic as possible so it will seem like the wieght of the blog was on these two issues.
Herman Cain made unwanted sexual advances toward me.
I have retained an attorney, I will reveal full details in a large press conference and then leave before any questions can be asked, or I will back out at the last minute, but my attorney will certainly be a featured morning guest where he will regularly be used to assure an anxious public that everything that can be done is being done to stop this heinous sexual predator. Or at least until I get a book deal or a part time gig on The View maybe.
Secondly and maybe more importantly…a prediction…ohh wait, hold on drum roll please
A Prediction…….Gabby Gifford will be Obama’s running mate in 2012.
Hopefully no one else has suggested this yet, but I can easily see it happening, but ya know, I mean what the F do I really know
I’m Dysfunctional
I Can Do Anything Better By Changing the Rules
November 17, 2011
Okay as usual too big to contain in just one post, but the rant was too good to let go of just yet ’cause I almost got to the nut of it. And here’s the two big ones.
Ever since the influx of women into the work force the work done at a specific location has slowly become less important and the social structure of the work place itself has gained tremendous weight. What do I mean by that? Oh my God okay well, I have worked a wide variety of jobs: male dominated construction, service industry, grocery, restaurant, warehouse, social services, and now back to service, since I started working as young man in the seventies till now the social rules at work have undergone tremendous changes. Lets leave the obvious out for now, where you all thought I was heading, and look at this; in my dad’s day, in his dad’s day, work was work, ya showed up, put in your hours, if the boss yelled at ya, or ya lost a pinky in the machine, ya didn’t go off half cocked whining about it.
All right well I am being hyperbolic but what I meant was in my Dad’s day there wasn’t a lot of official talk at work that wasn’t specifically about work.
Now a days, jumped up Jesus on a pogo stick, every boss, every company has to be people centered, employee friendly, I mean they are not, not really, they are a company out to make as much f-ing money as they can, but they have to pretend.
Hell almost every company, certainly every large company has a division in charge of pretending (and coincidentally protecting itself when this pretense is exposed). The H.R. department, or human resources department of every company spends hours of every day, days upon days every year devising new ways for companies to look and seem genuinely concerned. In reality they are a giant waste of company time (profits) and resources both human and other wise (more profits) in the form of countless hours spent in bull shit meetings, and ream after ream of useless paperwork.
Why does a company do this, if it is such a drain on profits (which of course a company never lets go of, they just pass the cost on to the consumer) why then does a large faceless corporate monster like say, the evil Wells Fargo Bank, spend so many man hours on purely social (employee-manager/employee-employee relations).
The answer is obvious. As companies hired more women (should I not mention the government incentives to large companies) to there by prove that women could do all the jobs men could. The women did not adjust to meet the job, slowly the job has been forced, again many times through legal action, to adjust to the needs of the woman.
And I tell ya I have worked in the Social Services industry. Let me describe the jist of that job, lots of taxpayer and united way dollars to pay people (90%+ women) to have meetings, all day everyday. Okay that’s an 
exaggeration, and I have a blog coming someday on that experience and I don’t want to spoil the fun.
Well of course it’s fun ranting like this cause I am dysfun..Oh wait I did say two didn’t I…up above I said two big ones. Well the last one will be quick, and mostly just for the guys out there.
Okay so every guy in every job will know this one…”Could you reach that for me?” or how bout “Could you carry this ream of paper to my desk?” maybe “I hate doing _____ ’cause it wrecks my nails could you do _____ ” (fill in the blank)
Equal pay for equal work my ass!!
Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better
November 17, 2011
Alright so back to it. I had a nice little break there with the Sunday blogs…think I will do that every Sunday, I mean like everything else I have lots to talk ’bout when it comes to religion. But that’s just for fun right know I wanna get back to the more 
serious topics, like how women are running this country right into the ground.
Okay well, it’s those statements that piss off Little Mouse, and I promised her I would be a little nicer so lets start there.
I love women, really, I do, and I think over all that women are in many ways, superior to men. Certainly you are more socially adaptable, you live longer, you color coordinate much better.
All right that last one was suppose to be funny but it can help me illustrate another point I want to make explicitly clear.
I am always, unless I note (unless I forget to note [how confusing is that] which occasionally may happen), talking in generalities. When I claim things like men can take more pain than women, I mean that, in general, more men can handle pain better than woman can as a percentage of the population.
And this isn’t only for this specific topic, in general, this goes for everything I write about.
So if you wanna argue for instance that you’re husband is a real wimp and that you can handle way more pain than him, I would argue back that that sounds more like a personal issue.
Okay so we’re all straight, I’m speaking in general terms and I think women are not only great at many things, they are also capable of doing things that men cannot do, or certainly will never be able to do as well as woman. But here’s where we run into trouble boys, ’cause the other side doesn’t believe this to be true. In other words there are many woman I get into conversations who in the beginning want to convince me that anything a man can do a woman can do better.
Even now (or eventually if) the women reading this blog are nodding their heads and saying damn right.
This isn’t equality, it’s superiority, which was exactly the plan all along, but i am getting way off track and about ten blogs ahead so let me rein it back in a bit and focus on the topic at hand.
As always, I know, I will need to give you a concrete example so take a chunky bite of this; as part of the women can do any job a man can do philosophy traditionally male fields have been opened, many times through legal actions, including such fields as fire fighting, or the military to include women among their ranks. In all such cases we were told that a woman could do the job just as easily as a man could, except you have to change the rules and lower the standards so that women can actually do the job.
I know that sentence makes no sense, the chain of logic you have to follow to make a sentence like that takes some balls, I still can’t figure out how they convinced the rest of us.
Yes originally I of course believed all this bull shit.
But let me take all of this a step farther…what, over 500 words already?!
The Winner and Still Champeeen!
November 11, 2011
Alright so I promised I’d get to it so lets get right to it. I’m gonna say it again in case I wasn’t clear enough. Men (as a group) can handle more pain than woman (as a group). This isn’t some wild crazy belief of mine, trust me we 
will get to those in future blogs. t can hardly believe that we have gotten to the point where it is such a hot topic to discuss. It is one of the most ludicrous examples of this new society we are building.
I’m sorry ladies, chicks, babes, doll faces, you may be better at us than many things, but the delivery and reception of physical pain is a male specialty. There is such a mountainous display of evidentary history over the last ten thousand years or so that I am stunned that our culture has been able to turn this concept inside out so rapidly; and the ease with which it was accomplished.
Are you men, my fellow brethren so desperate for sex that you will so easily acquiesce such a integral part of you heritage, your genetic destiny? Okay well that’s all for a future blog, and don’t worry dames, I got plenty to say to men as well, the sell out bastards…
Yea, but that’s off topic.
There’s no where in the last blog or this one that I have made the claim that child birth is not highly uncomfortable, hell I’ll even give ya down right painful. I’m not even claiming women can’t handle the pain of child birth.
I am saying though, and hopefully very clearly by now, that the statement “women can handle more pain than men” is not fact. Not even close. It is a wish, a fantasy, a dream at best. At worst it is a down right lie perpetrated for a nefarious purpose (cue the evil music) duh duh duhnnn!
We’ll get to that in future blogs also trust me….fer right now though I wanna keep it simple for you girls…Just kidding, really, I believe men have no advantage over women when it comes to smarts, and even some disadvantages, but that again is getting off topic…
Look, I can comfortably say that an easy 90% of the woman I talk to one on one, if not right off hand, eventually break down and agree laughing that “yes, they know that men can take more pain than women.” See men it is just a game to them; to see how much we will let them take away from us. Not woman as a social unit mind you. The individual woman, she is the one laughing slyly.
Woman together as a social unit well that’s a different story. If I bring this topic up to a group of women, especially a large one they are aggressively defensive of this new truth.
“I’d like to see a man push a watermelon out his asshole.” is a constant refrain
Well ya know what, if we had to we could, only we wouldn’t f-in make the whole world listen to us bitch about it. Put that in your womb and let it ruminate baby cakes.
Oh and fluff puffs one more little tidbit before I go, just a little fact that hopefully, you will find as hilarious as I do.
Any rights you have acquired over the last century or so you have only gained because some man gave them to you.
That must be a big ol’ bee in your cute lil’ bonnet eh?
